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I Bought a PS5

Friday June 2, 2023

Sorry for ANOTHER post about video games. One of these days I’ll write something intelligent.

A friend of a friend was selling a PS5 (the disc drive version) with a controller for $300. My ass went to an ATM so fast. I totally cut in front of another guy that was interested by saying I could meet up with him ASAP so I kind of feel bad about that. Sorry Brian. I guess this will kind of be a review of the console but I also want to talk about some of the games I’ve been playing since I got it.

The Console

I like the UI. It shits on the Xbox UI but that’s a pretty low bar. On the main menu, your games are front and center and the rest of the menus pretty much stay out of your way. The ambient background music is a nice touch. It makes me miss when Nintendo used music on their console menus.

The Main Menu

As far as game graphics, everything is very impressive. You have to understand that I’m coming from a Switch where everything looks like an early Xbox 360 game at best. I’m mostly playing PS4 games on this things and I’m still shocked at how nice games look.

The controller has grown on me. At first I wasn’t sure if I’d like the sticks being symmetrical and lower than the buttons, but it took me around 0.294 seconds to get used to it and now I don’t even think about it. The crazy ass triggers that can resist force in certain situations are actually a really sick gimmick. I don’t know when the touchpad will ever be useful but whatever.

The console itself is HUGE. Too huge. I can’t fit it under my TV and instead I have to keep it on the floor next to my TV. It looks so bad. Another little complaint is that when it reads discs it sounds like it’s about to explode. When my speakers are up I can’t hear it so whatever.

The Games

Like I said before I’m mostly playing PS4 games on this thing. I never had one so I missed out on a lot of bangers.

Nier: Automata

My Bayonetta muscle memory kicked in instantly and I’ve been having a good time so far. The atmosphere is really incredible. I was running though the abandoned city at the beginning of the game and it made me want to be there in real life.

The City Ruins

I’ve barely started the game but I’m looking forward to using new weapons and upgrading stuff. 2B is hot so that’s cool too.

A Hat in Time

I’ve been itching to play this for so long but there was no way I waas gonna suffer though the Switch version running at like 15-30fps. On the PS5 (and I think on the PS4 Pro) it runs at a solid 60 which is the only way to play. Anyway, this game is fucking incredible. If you’ve ever enjoyed any 3D Mario game ever, you should absolutely play this.

The Mafia Town Beach

That screenshot doesn’t really do the game justice because you have to see it in motion to fully appreciate it. I’ll leave this review here because it includes gameplay but also because it’s funny.

Astro’s Playroom

I swear this game is actually cool. It’s easy as hell but it was fun to 100%. It reminds me of Kirby in that way. This is also the only game I’m listing that is ONLY available on the PS5.

The music on this stage fucking sucks

You run around as this little robot dickhead collecting accessories from old Playstation consoles. Each level has a transformation with unique controls, like a rolling ball that uses the touchpad and a monkey that climbs with the triggers. It’s short, sweet, and free. You should play it.

The Rest

I also have Super Meat Boy, but there’s nothing I need to say about Super Meat Boy. I bought Catherine: Full Body without really knowing what I was getting into. It’s hard as shit. I think I’ll come back to it once I finish Nier or something. Street Fighter 6 came out today (about two hours ago) and I’m obviously getting that as soon as I’m off work. My friends convinced me to download Call of Duty: Warzone and I must admit that it’s pretty fun. I cannot help but dunk on Sky for making bas decisions and then 10 seconds later have 600 excuses for why I didn’t kill a guy.

I want to try the Souls games but I’m not sure if I want to start with Dark Souls or Demon’s Souls. I ordered a sealed copy of Puyo Puyo Tetris 2 for $10 but I’m still waiting on that. I got Sky NBA 2K23. None of this is super interesting but I wanted to mention it.

Final Thoughts

This thing is a fucking PS4 Pro Pro. That’s fine by me since I didn’t have a PS4, but if I did I’d think this console is a total scam. There are like 2 PS5 games. There are rumors of a PS5 Pro already? Is it gonna be even fucking bigger? Aren’t PS5s still hard as fuck to find? I got this thing for hella cheap and I get to play really great games (for hella cheap) so I’m very satisfied with the console as a whole.

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